sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
