So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
