PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Your shirt... Was in my pants
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
