So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
