He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
