I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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