Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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