great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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