You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
