a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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