So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
