I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize