dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
