i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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