So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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