I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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