just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
