I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
