Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
