Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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