New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
