He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
