once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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