D3 body, D1 cock
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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