I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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