i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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