If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
