Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize