hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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