she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
