Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
