belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
