Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My vagina is very pro this idea
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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