He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
