so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize