my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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