Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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