i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
