I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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