Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
