I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
