Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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