No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
