just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We had sex on a dog bed..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
