But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
