yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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