i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
