i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize