some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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