i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
