i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I deserve this hangover.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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