Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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