He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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