I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
