when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do vagina's smell?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
