whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can I color on your dick again?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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