I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
