so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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