ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I met the friendliest cop last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
