pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
