you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
