OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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