Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
as a side note pls kill me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
