Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
