ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
