hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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