We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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