Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
