I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
