i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
