im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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